November

November.

Usually cold, usually grey, November is a month that I used to rush through when I was still living in the United States. Getting ready for Thanksgiving, getting ready for Christmas, winding up major work prior to year-end deadlines, November was an often ignored prelude to the glory of December. Holidays, time off, being with family — for better or worse — cemented another milestone in my life’s recollections.

Since 2013, however, November has taken on new meaning for me — time to remember how far I have come and to recognize and celebrate accomplishment in the face of so many setbacks and so much upheaval in the world we had perhaps been living in a bit too blithely before COVID-19 reminded us of how much uncertainty truly runs through our lives.

Three dates in November stand out for me:

November 12. This date is what adoptive parents refer to as their “Gotcha Day” — the day that they were matched with their adopted child. Like many other adoptive parents, we celebrate two birthdays each year: Our son’s actual birthday and the day that he became our son and we became a family. November 12th is our Gotcha Day.

November 15. On this date five years ago, we made the decision to relocate from California to Tokyo. It was a move that we thought would last two, maybe three years. As we’ve put down roots here, as continuity and stability become ever more important to our son’s education, not to mention the seismic shift in the political condition of the United States in 2016 and perhaps once again in 2020, it’s not necessarily easier to choose to remain in Japan rather than less difficult.

November 17. My birthday. On this day seven years ago, I hugged my new son, whom I had only known for 5 days, and told him that he was my best birthday present ever. A new life had begun for me.

Looking back on these memories, November now appears to me less cold, not quite as grey. A long way yet to go, yes, but look how far I have come.